Tuesday, August 23, 2016

I Forgot: Landing at Kansai

Air Canada Boeing 767ER Seat 51K

Noise is group of high school girls seated around me. Sounds like chickens surprised by a fox in the henhouse.

Incidentally, where my plane is touching down was about 100 feet deep of Osaka Bay water only 25 years ago. Everything below the plane was put there by people.

Even the grass.

Sunday, August 14, 2016


My Suit Ploy worked! The cute little button at the Air Canada counter (perfect Japanese, but she said she was Korean!) apologised for not putting me in First Class, like I joked, but did put me in one of those exit rows—no seat in front of me! Over the WING! My favourite place to die—it'll be extremely fiery, as I will be above the wing tanks.

Yay times a hundred.

My suit finally worked! Look it up: Boeing 767ER, seat 27K!

Yay times five hundred! And maybe there will even be no one next to me! She made a special request on a phone! For me! Yippee-yip-yip-yipYIP*&*&*&*&*&*&*&(^=^)(^=^)(^=^)(^=^)

Uh, sorry.

Here. This'll take a load off.


In the bus, just having said goodbye to Tai-chan
Summiting is always a triumph, but what goes up must come down.

And flying from Japan to Montreal is the worst of the worst. Oh no—flying from Japan to Montreal through the U.S. is the penultimate Worst Journey In The World.

I will not go into the details of going through customs and immigration and security lines with your bags in two countries, one of them being one of the most disorganized in the world, and we'll just stick with Vancouver.

You get to Vancouver after an interminable 11+hour flight and have to offload any luggage and join the inevitable snakeline—you know the one—and depending on your luck, it will take you a weary ten minutes, or a hellish 40.

A surly immigration officer will cap off your happiness, and then there will be luggage inspection, checkin (you can never find a checkin desk, because WoW! You're in the Interational Arrivals terminal and you have to go to the Domestic Departures terminal.

It's always a throw of the dice . . . be pessimistic and it'll go smoothly. Be optimistic and no doubt it will be a nightmare.

But that is Part II of the journey, and I haven't even really begun Part I . . .

It doesn't get any better than THIS:

A Nightmare For Your Final Day? Why not!

It was a little late to find out that I can't buy my ticket for the 7 a.m. bus from here to the airport until 8:30 a.m.

Let's see . . . forget the 100-yen shop . . . I'll go to the Time-machine vendor.

Friday, August 12, 2016